Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Confessions 2010: Reel Whore vs. the Movies- Day 4

Welcome back! If you're just joining us, be sure to start back at the beginning. Otherwise, jump on into...


Today's focus are those hard-to-forget movie moments. I'm talking about that singular moment in the great films, or even those barely tolerable flicks, that make you want to sit down and watch them all over again. 

Award #5: Most Memorable Movie Moments of 2010
Every year this category gets more difficult. I guess I've seen so many films over the years that it takes something pretty amazing to captivate my attention.

The following award recognizes the brightest seven moments of 2010 I cannot stop thinking about.

The Sloppy Seconds:

Is There Anything JGL Can't Do?
(Inception)
Everyone who's seen Inception can't forget the sheer awesomenicity of the battle in the spinning hallway. Honestly, have you seen it? Kinda speaks for itself.
That's Just What We Call Pillow Talk, Baby (Terribly Happy)
Robert hasn't found much to do in South Jutland although Ingerlise, wife of the town bully, has plenty of ideas for him. But when he tries to "put a lid" on his indiscretions, he winds up deeper in the muck than he thought imaginable.    

I Love You So Much It Hurts
(The Killer Inside Me)
Casey Affleck's Lou Ford is one twisted Texas sheriff. While I'm not necessarily a fan of Jessica Alba, the ass-whooping he lays on her is one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Oh, I'm Sorry. Did I Break Your Concentration?
(The Social Network)


For a film about typing and talking, Fincher gives us one of the best scenes of the year when Mark explains, in no uncertain terms, how worthy the deposition is of his time and energy.
Your BF's About to Get Eff'd in the B!
(
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)
Maybe I'm just partial to seeing Bland, I mean Ann, I mean Mae Whitman, play Roxy Richter, but hers was the best of all the evil-ex battles. It's not just because it has the most girl-on-girl action, but it helps audiences, and Scott, discover both Ramona's sexy phase and scrappy ways.

Hold Still, or It'll Get Messy.
(The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)
Lisbeth Salander has taken a lot of shit from a lot of people throughout her life, including being man-handled by her guardian. Watching her take back a little piece of herself while taking away a large chunk of Bjurman's manhood is grimly satisfying.

And the Most Memorable Movie Moment of 2010 goes to:

Ugh, Did You Have Pineapple Today?!
(Hot Tub Time Machine)
What was a harmless bet goes horribly wrong for Lou and Nick. It's such a simple and crass scene, but Rob Corddry and Craig Robinson nail it perfectly.

The Que Ridiculo! Award, named in honor of The Big Lebowski, is given to those moments that are just too preposterous to believe. While I understand some films are a plethora of insane moments, even those can cross the line into WTF! territory. 2010 didn't have as many outrageous moments as previous years, but it had more than its share of movies that strove to set a record for ridiculousness.

Award #6: 2010 Que Ridiculo! Award

The Sloppy Seconds: 

The Losers 
How in all holy hell does twenty-five pound Zoe Saldana sidearm a rocket launcher?! Firing the weapon would have been enough to knock her scrawny ass into next week!  


Grown Ups
There were so many stupid things in this movie, but were I to pick one, I've got to go with the zipline over the pool. What respectable business would dare install a zipline that stretched across a pool full of people? Okay, the Facebook guys tried it and we all saw how that worked out for them.

The A-Team
This is a personal peeve. Action movies love to one-up themselves from one action scene to another, but sometimes they overreach. For The A-Team, even steering the falling tank was wholly plausible to me. Watching the team battle the baddies amidst a shower of containers falling from a cargo ship was asinine. Not even a supercomputer could calculate the a plan that would come together that well.

Predators
This award is usually given to a scene, but I have to make an exception. Topher Grace's character Edwin; where do I fucking begin?  The Predators choose a weaselly serial killer for a survival outing? One who'd kill his teammate rather than escape? Lamest side character ever.  

The Crazies 
I hate it when films forget to follow their own rules. The crazies are people who've lost the ability to reason and just go around attacking others. I'll buy that. I won't buy that they choose to tie up the Sheriff's wife instead of killing her, apparently, to lure the Sheriff into a trap. Seriously? 

Sex & the City 2
This movie didn't know where to quit when it came to ridiculous moments. Of all the inane dialogue they spoke and all the stupid, insipid adventures the creators set these women off on, having them meet their Abu Dhabi counterparts was the greatest effrontery. It's bad enough Samantha has to flaunt her Western ideals, but why show how much every non-American woman yearns to be like these shallow, selfish bitches?

And the winner of the 2010 Que Ridiculo! Award is: 

Why Did I Get Married Too?
Tyler Perry isn't exactly known for his realistic storytelling, but watching Janet Jackson's Patricia confront Malik Yoba's Gavin at his office made my fucking jaw drop. Poor Janet rolls in like she's about to break out into an updated version of Alright as she calls Malik less than a man to all his coworkers. She does this by having a gay man leap from a cake. I half expected the spirit of Cab Calloway to erupt from the cake, striking them all dead. It was such a horrible scene Malik Yoba left the set and drove into oncoming traffic. I nearly did the same. 


Today marks the pinnacle of my Confessions. Have no fear, this doesn't mean it's all downhill from here. The best is yet to come!
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Large Association of Movie Blogs

4 comments:

  1. Really enjoying this series! Here are my thoughts thusfar:

    DAY 1: Vegan police was one of the funniest moments in a movie that was almost non-stop funny moments. My jaw DROPPED when I saw Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr., and they slow motion high five and “yeah!” as they exited had me in stitches

    DAY 2: Of the three films that you missed that I have seen, BLUE VALENTINE, MOTHER and ANIMAL KINGDOM are all must sees.

    I actually liked that they killed off Danny Trejo first in PREDATORS, solely because he was one of the few actors (aside from Adrien Brody) who I recognized. I figured he would be one of the last to go, and so it was an interesting surprise when he kicked the bucket so early. Plus, his off-screen death was used to great effect.

    DAY 3: Lots of great characters here, although personally I couldn’t stand Scott Pilgrim (the person; I loved the movie). Other characters I’d throw in for consideration: Eames (Tom Hardy) from INCEPTION, Mark Zuckerberg from THE SOCIAL NETWORK, and Pope (Ben Mendelsohn) and Smurf (Jackie Weaver) from ANIMAL KINGDOM.

    I’d also consider a couple of people from documentaries who may in fact be fictional characters -Mr. Brainwash was EXIT THROUGH THE GIFTSHOP, and Angela Pierce from CATFISH. Real or not, they were both fascinating subjects.

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  2. Glad you're enjoying my Confessions!

    Once I wrap this up, I'm going to take a breather and get through some good films, BV is still in town so that's #1 on my list.

    I love me some Danny Trejo. I know the director was like "we'll take this big mutha fucker and have him executed lickety split to show how badass the Predators are." It does punctuate the danger they're in, but I was so hoping he'd get to chop an alien arm off or something before he bit it.

    No love for Scott Pilgrim the person, eh? I have to confess, until the last moment it was a battle b/w he and Wallace along with Duvall from Get Low. Zuckerberg was on my not-as-short list.

    I can't wait to see Animal Kingdom. I need to check it's NFQ position.

    I need to add Exit Through the Gift Shop to my list. Really curious about it.

    How was Catfish?

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  3. I absolutely LOVED Catfish, it's one of my favourite movies of 2010. I'm not sure how much you know about it, and I really don't want to spoil anything about it (you should go in with as little prior information as possible). Trust me though, do anything you can to check it out!

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  4. I read just a bit about Catfish, but not too much. It's near the top of my NFQ. Maybe I'll bump it up and see it before someone ruins it.

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